So, I get it now

Don't bother getting up, I'm going anyways.

Anything less than perfection breaks after a time.

Eternally ageless in an age of immaturity.

The skin is temporary. What's underneath is more important.

A life given to save another life is worth ten. A life used to take ten is worth nothing.

The future is an endless white expanse; the past an endless void. The present is a fleeting dream before falling forward and back.

Love is an instant, a flash in the fire of lust and desire. A dove amongst eagles, a rose amongst thorns.

Only the good die young, only the strong ever live in the first place, and only the truly ambitious ever taste immortality.

A person who is alive lives every day thrice. Once in foresight, once in present, and once in regret. A person who is not alive only lives in regret.

Only when your world has been nothing and everything will you ever understand something.

Those who are blind and deaf know true beauty.

The only meaning in life is to live. The only cause of death is dying. Everything in between is your time.

Giving is not the same as using. Using is not the same as helping. Helping is not the same as giving.

Don't bother sitting down. It's just going to change again.

DeLayed at Birth

I'm posting this here, instead of over at Power-Lines, since DeLay, like many Republican crooks, really gets my back up, and illustrates what's wrong with powerful politicians in today's age. Namely, they're predominantly scheming, arrogant assholes (at least in my opinion). I know there are many politicians out there who are actually fairly decent family people, who think well of the common man, but the sad thing is, they never get elected, so that's neither here nor there.

So anyway, DeLay is indicted, on a charge of conspiracy. Aye, that's generally what happens when you get charged, you get pulled in. But he's essentially calling the whole charge "weak." It's a pretty serious charge there Tom, and I don't think it's wise to call your opposing lawyer a "liberal fanatic." When you break the law, you get pulled in. There's nothing partisan about it. Unless, of course, you're a conservative nut who thinks that everything that's bad that happens is the fault of liberals, liberal bias, and the "liberal media."

As part of that "liberal media," I must say that it's not just conservatives who get the mud slinging. I should introduce DeLay to Chretien someday, and see what happens.

Arrggg... it just pisses me off. Justice is only for the common man. When someone powerful goes on trial, they are either pardoned, discharged, or promoted.

It's like running afoul of the law is grounds for promotion. I could only wish that was the case, but sadly, I have to obey the law and a code of ethics.

Neither of which seem to bother politicians in the least. Anything is fair game, as long as you don't get caught. And if you do get caught, just deny it until nobody cares.

Hey you, in the Dark

We nearly missed our deadline this week.

It wasn't fun, it wasn't cool. But somebody really likes us. We got a little CD in the mail called Endless White Lights Act I. It's like somebody granted me a wish that I never thought I made. It's a collaborative CD with many artists contributing, like Raine Maida from Our Lady Peace, Jimmy Gnecco from Ours, and Dallas Green from Alexisonfire.

It's all produced by one guy, but his name eludes me at this moment. In short though, the CD is awesome. It's perhaps some of the best music I've ever listened to. One could say that it's a CD composed of lead singers, removed from their bands, and made good.

My little gush aside, it's going to be a bit downhill this week. A pleasant change for once, everything's in for a change, and I can be afforded some time to myself. I'm going for a swim, and then some dinner.

After that? Fuck, I'm going to sleep for once.

Company

This little bird follows people around campus, almost like a puppy looking for food. Well, a puppy that sounds like a squawky hag, anyway.

Anyway, he stood still long enough for me to take a few decent pictures. Most of them were still pretty blurry because of the low light (it was early morning). The fuzziness in this one is a post effect I added.

I kinda like it. I'm tempted to print it off and pin it up in my locker with some other pictures I've taken. It's like a mini-darkroom in there as it is.

A Bloody Mess

I was expecting to get a headache today. The winds from the west were to bring a massive low pressure system into Calgary tonight.

I didn't get a headache. I got the equivalent of an aneurized artery rupturing in my nose. Yeah. Little sniffle, little sniffle, drip, drip, drip.

So I was bleeding today, through my nose. Both nostrils. Like I had been punched in the face.

My boss thought my photographer had gotten sick of me, and decided to show me who the editor really is.

The upside though. I don't have a headache. I'm behind schedule, I need to e-mail someone for my practicum, I'm stressed, but smite me if my head has never felt this good.

And so, still alive, I cling

Wow.

What a week.

I'm still alive, barely. Somewhere between Martini night and total despair, I think I've found something. Some hole in the stress to curl up in, between shifts of stomach-wrenching anxiety, and the sickening smoothness that I pass through with.

The illness seems to have subsided to the odd case of wheezing, and the occassional bout of dry hacking. The doc said that's normal.

I know normal. Four hours of sleep a night, dying attention span, the desire to relentlessly play guitar, and the constant hunger but never eating; this is not normal.

So why then, am I having so much fun?

Longish in tooth and hair

Alright, as requested. Sorry, I blinked for the picture, and it's a little contrasty, but I don't have much time at the moment to correct it.

Many thousands of apologies, and a promise for a better picture soon.

Man, my hair is getting long.

Lips are moving, but making no sense

Sorry ladies, no picture yet. I'll get right on that.

I made the deadlines for the paper. Now I just have to get all my assignments in... today, and I should be home free. Still sick, not that that's a surprise, but I'm going for a swim today. Hopefully the chlorine and whatever other godawful chemicals they use will help to clear me up.

I haven't been sleeping well the last few days. Again, not a surprise. Generally, when things start piling up and the stress starts, its natural to lose a few hours of sleep. Well, okay, I've lost more than just a few. Not that anyone around here (where I am) cares. As long as I look normal, and keep smiling, everybody assumes I'm okay. I wouldn't really want to bother them with my stuff anyway. They can't really help much, and more often than not, they'd think I'm just complaining to hear myself speak.

I just sneezed. Not pretty.

Some kind of Random

So I woke up today, and realized I'm still sick like a dog. I've been fooling myself into believing I'm getting better, but that's just a big lie. I'm sick. My nose is still running. I'm still coughing. I'm also still behind schedule.

But I'll stick it. Like... something... that won't die. I'm going to pull this alligator's teeth out. And I'm going to keep pulling until there's no teeth left.

Wait... alligator's teeth don't grow back, do they?

I'm hungry right now. Hungry for news, food... yeah. Hungry.

Walked by somebody familiar in the hall today. I don't think she saw me though, even though I was less than four feet away. Oh well. I guess I should probably get my hair cut.

A New Path

Here, a new path opens before you darling,
into their world of light.

You are a stranger there, so expect no kindness from them. They are a covetous lot, and will seek your favour only at the cost of your body.
Do not submit to them.

All manor of creatures dwell in that world.
There will be wolves. Spiders. Sharks. Snakes.
Be not afraid. For you are of a species far more frightening than them.
They smell weakness, and you are strong.
They will submit to you.

Remember your role.
Don't be afraid.
I will wait for you here in this darkness.

Though you be not left, you will always be alone.

Do not forget.

Small Measure

I'm at home, finally. But I still have no time to relax. No rest for the... well, whatever it is that I am. I still can't have a full nights sleep. I have to be up early tommorrow to hit the streets and get some more stuff done for work. The cold still hasn't completely abated, and I've been weezing like some kind of punctured bellows. I would like to say that there's light at the end of the tunnel, but that would be a lie. It's probably going to be like this until I leave for practicum in a month.

You hear that sound? That's my social life in its death throes.

I'm still looking for some small measure of comfort, but there is none. This is the reality that's been waiting for me, and it's just me and time now.

I wonder when it will be too much...?

Edit: So, this was my 250th post on Thought Storm. Pardon me while I pat myself on the back.

Caffeine Addict Invictus

Ever find yourself on that 20th cup of coffee?

I never have, simply because that much caffeine would kill me about four times over. Hell, one cup of coffee is enough to cause me to shake life a leaf.

And yet there are people who consume caffeine products by the gallon. How do you justify this kind of addiction? It's kind of like smoking, sans the black lungs. Someone I know just hit their 10th cup of coffee today, so to demonstrate the effects of that much caffeine, I drew them a little diagram.



Yeah.

That's about right.

Edit: Fack this JPEG shit. Blogger better start supporting PNG's ASAP or I'm going to be going AFFAB.

Power-Lines Launched

For those of you who have been itching for my comments on current events, and have found my blog to be devoid of it, as a desert is devoid of water, rejoice. Today, Power-Lines has been launched, and it will be my repository for all news related commentary. I'm required to create a new blog for school, but I don't think they quite realize what monster they're letting out of the box.

From this point on, T-storm will be a largely personal database, for your entertainment, rather than your enlightenment. Just as church and state should be seperated, so too shall my work and my play. I will be linking Power-Lines on the right once I'm done cleaning up the template, and adding some content to read, so sit tight.

Kleenex makes a killing

Four boxes and 32 travel packs later, the Cold has abated... somewhat. I think Kleenex has just made their entire quarter's profit off my illness, as for 72 hours, I couldn't go anywhere without some tissues handy.

Gross.

I've got a lot of work to do before the weekend rolls in, perhaps more work than I'm able to complete, but I'm going to set my nose to the grindstone, and if it wrecks me for the weekend, so be it. I haven't got any plans, and I'm pretty sure no one has plans for me.

Virii, Snot, Coughing, and other errata

I'm sick. And I don't mean sniffly, cougy sick. I've been visited by our good friend, the rhinovirus, better known as the common cold. Only this is worse. My nose is running worse than a leaky faucet in a poor victorian home, and my head feels like a giant wad of cotton.

I'm hopped up on somethingQuil, god knows if it's day or night, I just grabbed a box this morning and downed two, and stuffed the rest in my pocket. I slept through my alarm, which never happens. Ever. I was so put-under by the Q that I even ignored the alarm on my watch, which dutifully reminds me when I should be leaving for the bus.

School's been interesting. I've about stripped my throat raw, so I have pretty much no voice left. My pallor must be so like death that nobody will talk to me. I can see the disgust in people's eyes. I should have just stayed home, but I'm not going to miss another editing period at work. I'm a news editor, I should at least be there often enough to do my job. So tolerate me for now, oh ye of the healthy world. Tolerate me, or else I will come close to you and share with you this wonderful parasite that feeds on me.

Ugh, can't focus. Room spinning. Must get rest.

Nyquil, your sneezing, coughing, stuffy-head, fever, why-is-the-room-spinning medicine.

Gah. I need to hear a comforting voice.

Tuned, but there is no Perfection

So I tuned up the guitar today. From C to E, as it's supposed to be. It's a big difference, playing the guitar with the strings tight, as opposed to somewhat lax, as they are in C tuning. Tighter strings also make for a much cleaner sound (and less rattling).

Still haven't found a reliable means of recording the noise though. My MP3 player's sound recorder is an absolute piece of shit, and I don't really have any means of hooking amp right to laptop.

I'm hoping for a better week as well. It just stopped raining outside, but the forecast calls for showers going right until Tuesday. So it looks like I'll be spending a lot of time indoors. With the family. Sometimes I think if I didn't have a guitar and an internet connection, I'd snap.

But anyway, I'm going to jam for a bit longer, before returning to WoW. Met Ryan online; sadistic bastard that he is, killing all those helpless little bunnies. At least he made up for it with drive-by blessings.

Off I go then.

I've got a friend, as his name's Roy...

Hey Ugly, Get out of Bed

Before:


It's been raining all night, and all morning. It's a cold, miserable rain. I'm looking for some kind of relief this weekend, but I guess I'll just have to settle for sleeping in. I think some bridges might have been burnt this week, and I think one of the things that should have been burnt is the Golden Rule (Do unto others as you want done unto you). It's a lie.

So, I looked like shit for most of the week. I actually had time to shower, shave, and try cleaning up. Well, regardless, I don't feel anywhere near as good as I look. You can take that however you wish, but I'll just let you know now that pride is not something I'm good at faking.

After:


I'm going to go take some pictures, and maybe play some more music.

Hey, when you get it right,
maybe we can go and hang out,
but until that time,
I'm way out here,
and I don't want to fight.

Get Out

I want to know what it is that I did that makes the world hate me so.

This weekend, I don't think I'll be online, and if I am, it will be seldom and sporadic. I want sleep. I want to be left the fuck alone. I want to stop being beaten with the same goddamned rhetoric every goddamned day.

I work. I go to school. My passions outside of that right now is writing and music. I'm not taking lessons. I'm not going to "make time" for lessons. That doesn't mean I don't want to play music, I'm just not so naive and fucked up that I can just pull two hours out of my ass and not expect this house of cards to fall down. So that means no lessons for the guitar. At least not now. Maybe in the future, when I have more time, but not now. Okay J? You got that?

As for complaints about my "attitude," deal with it. This isn't a fucking kindergarten class where I'm expected to smile and play nice. I will be civil with you. I will treat you fairly. But for the love of all that is sane, I will not kiss your ass as a matter of course. This is not a problem with my "attitude." If you want to meet a genuine asshole, there is approximately 4.8 billion other people out there who would be more than happy to fill your request.

In the meantime, I need to get out of here.

Where are you?

I can't speak. My vocal cords are pretty much shot, I was yelling so loud at that concert. I'm a day behind in my work now, but honestly, it was worth it.

On top of that, a good friend of mine got some shots at the concert, and he's willing to loan me one, provided that it be low resolution, and watermarked, and I give him proper credit. He's a photographer by trade, so every one of his pictures he protects, because it's his lifeblood.

The music was awesome as well. A good mix of old and new. They even played Starseed and Naveed, which surprised me. This was supposed to be a promotional tour for their new CD, and yet they played their oldest (and in my opinion, their best) music.

Well, more to come soon.

Change the Station

I'm back on the ball, for the time being. Got some news articles done today, so I feel like I've actually done something, whereas yesterday felt like a complete loss. A black hole, unintentional, but drawing me in until I couldn't see the light of day anymore.

Tonight, I'm going to the Our Lady Peace concert at the campus bar. No press pass. No rules. I just go, and I just enjoy myself. I'm going alone, which is sad, and ironic. Also, since I'm going as just another joe, I can't take pictures, so sorry guys and gals, but no optical candy this time, unless I can pawn it off one of my co-workers.

Now, back to work.

Update: Ever wonder why people line up for these events?

A confirmed hit on the Ego

Ouch.

I'm in such pain right now. My legs feel like they're about to fall off, and my eyes are just drums that are relentlessly beating at my sinuses. Or maybe it's the other way around. My shoulders are knotted into tight bunches, which can easily be mistaken for shoulder blades, and my feet feel like quarter-pounders left on the grill too long, and some fucker forgot the cheese.

Yeah, it was a bad day. On top of that, I forgot to pay my phone bill again.

GTFUTC, that's what I'm going to do.

Good Start to the Day that's Half Over

So, it was a good start to the day today. The family was out, so I got to crank the amp up loud enough to rattle glass. I know, this isn't a true photo. Truth be told, I had the ISO up too high, so I had to photoshop it a little to smooth out the rough stuff.

I actually put out a couple of songs today, well... maybe not songs, but little tunes that were catchy, and didn't sound like complete ass. Little progress, but always good. And no, my tunes do not involve Hippopotamus', or noodles, or any combination of the two.

There should have been more

I'm awake. I've been asleep for 10 and a half hours, but I'm awake now. The situation in New Orleans has changed drastically since the army arrived en convoy, but I'm still shocked and disgusted that it took that long for help to arrive.

I'm getting hauled away today to help move furniture for my parents and grandparents. They're supposedly going to be getting me a bed from my grandparents too, but they're going to store it in a house that's infested with mice and other vermin, so it will probably be so soiled and chewed up by the time that I get it, that I'll have no choice but to set it to fire and exorcise it.

Ain't it great? It's like somebody sending you a perishable Christmas present. It might have been good when it was new, but by the time you get it, it's all filthy, rotten, and mouldy. And you don't dare be disappointed because that would be rude.

Anyway, in light of D's dereliction of duty, I provide my own babeage today.
Behold, the face of Katie B, voice of Jakalope.

I hate being right

I said they would be comparing it to Iraq soon.

I hate being right.

I also stand corrected. Thanks to the US governments inaction on this matter, the death toll has risen from 80, to just around 10,000.

The storm wasn't the tsunami. The blatantly ineffective government was.

How Strange

Taking a break for the suffering and strife in Louisiana, I stumbled across a startling discovery.
Almost all of my favorite bands and music acts are related in some way.

We'll start from the top.

The Wallflowers are headed by Jakob Dylan, who is the son of Bob Dylan.

Bob Dylan was the inspiration to Matthew Good, who without such a musical influence, would likely have never aspired to become a musician.

Matthew Good toured with The Dears during his Avalanche tour.

The Dears have a member by the name of George Donoso.

George Donoso used to play in a band called Northstar with Sam Roberts.

Sam Roberts hails from Montreal, Quebec.

Montreal is where The Arcade Fire was born as a band.

Regine Chassagne, the piano wizard and backup vocals for Win Butler of The Arcade Fire, hails from Haiti.

Haiti is an example of a nation recieving foreign aid (among other things) and is figured prominently with Matthew Good, and occassionally with The Wallflowers.


Full circle. Isn't it great?

In the Name of Humankind

Things are bad over in New Orleans right now. Reports are coming in, the Superdome is a mess. A rescue by a helecopter was aborted after somebody shot at the helecopter. Looting is rampant, both police and military personnelle have been shot, and fires are breaking out. One does not need to look hard to find out just how bad it is there.

Law has broken down, and I'm surprised at just how easy it was for civilization to fail in the bosom of a nation that touts itself as one of the most civilized in the world. Where were the citizens banding together to save their beloved city? Gone, they fled the terror of Katrina. The only people left in the city are those who hate each other, and hate the city. And those who were sent to re-establish law, and rebuild the city. It's like a modern Lord of the Flies, as Interdictor put it in his LiveJournal dedicated to surviving in New Orleans. Bush has pledged a massive relief effort to Louisiana and the other states affected by Katrina's passing, but it is unlikely that New Orleans will ever be the same, if it even survives this blow. This wasn't just a natural disaster. It was a failing of the spirits of men and women.

When the martial prescence in New Orleans finally equals that of the looters and thugs, I can expect many parallels to be drawn between this city, and Baghdad, Iraq.

Edit: Credit should be given where it was due. Interdictor was discovered by my friend Ravuya. He's linked on the side, if you're interested in Computer Sciences, or a stiff political debate, feel free to visit his sites.