Yep. If there's one thing I'm good at...
I never seem to outgrow my habit of leaving people behind.
Stick with your friends, the pundits say. What are friends though? Are they the ones ridiculing me behind my back? Are they the ones leeching my earnings? Are they the cunt-mongering animals who paw after my real friends like starved wolves to the doe?
I see no point in changing to accomodate people who use me. I see no point in rewarding the abuse. The lies.
I see no point in denying the goddamned truth. In North America, a "friend" is often a mutual leeching. We all take from each other until one of us runs dry, and then we leave the dry husk behind to rot in his or her own exclusion.
Only here could we have friends that we have to watch our back for. Only here do we have to watch our tongues around those we care about, because we know that having someone close just means there's another knife that much closer to our backs.
And yet, we find it offensive when someone questions us. It's like looking at the problem.
Of course. We're all trustworthy here. Don't mind us as we circle each other in a dirvish dance like sharks circling a wounded seal. You won't feel a thing.
And that's what is so frightening.
1 comment:
We all take from each other until one of us runs dry, and then we leave the dry husk behind to rot in his or her own exclusion.
I've only experienced that kind of friendship a couple of times in my life. And it really is fucked up. But, don't lose all hope. I think you have some real friends here in all of us. I don't want anything from you except...your companionship. Your advice, your 'don't worry's (hehe, especially when I'm being paranoid for no reason), and your faith in me so that you can/will share your own worries, triumphs, etc.
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