The last three weeks have kind of rolled downhill, into a large, spiky pit, with me stuck between mass of time and spiny displeasure. School has been tense, but it's likely about to consume me whole, what with a major feature assignment due and no ideas or sources to interview or dwell upon.
On top of that, this week has been a rock bottom, people wise. My girl more or less dumped me after a two week split. Two years, ended. Plans for the future, wiped. Children's names, recycled... much as the children might end up being. I'm feeling terribly jaded right now, when everything seems to go right, the silver clouds always get a black lining. Thunder cracks every now again, and I find myself questioning now, if I'm really doing the right thing with my time, and ultimately my life.
I haven't been able to pick up a pencil in over a week, and I'm worried that perhaps my inspiration has fled me for more fertile, and less unstable soils elsewhere.
2 comments:
Oh shit. I hadn't heard, man. I hope you get back on your feet soon, this kind of thing is terrible.
I absolutely understand where you are. The end of something that seemed to be enduring is painful in a way that can't really be verbalized. Having said that, maybe this is a time to perhaps use the pain for inspiration? Sometimes your best work might arise from even the worst stomach ache and heart ache..it might give you insight or a freedom to write things you may not have had previously. In any case, as Winston Churchill said, "when you are going through hell, by all means, keep going."
--E
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