Every once in a long while, I need to check some things.
I just did, and it was a pleasant reminder that, no, indeed, things are not alright.
I sometimes wonder if I'm ever going to be able to sit down and have a conversation with a person. A conversation about absolutely anything. Or, if instead, my life will forever be a constellation of silence, of knowing gestures, or of looking away.
I honestly can't lament being one way or the other. What I can lament is not being free to choose. I believe that is a fundamental crux of unhappiness for a lot of people. If a choice you desperately crave is not made available, ruin can only follow.
Ruin, and perhaps other things.
I'm blind now. It's time to stop typing.
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