Break the Jinx

I'm amused by the way people think.

Or rather, how they don't. North American culture has seen to it that, no only do we not have to think, but doing so is to our detriment. We are instead told to act based on "how we feel." Instead of thinking things through, we're expected to make judgments based on what's coursing through us at an exact moment. Betrayal. Hurt. Revenge. On revenge alone, I'm very surprised we haven't wiped ourselves off the map, but hey. Even the best ordered systems have their exceptions, including the unthinking brain. Even once in a blue moon, the most moon-struck, oblivious individual will have a momentary epiphany, a singular notion not born of reaction or instruction - a genuine creative insight.

The problem lies in that such waves of unforeseen thought never happen all at the same time. Say, at election time. Or when there's just been a catastrophe. All people know is how they feel. And to be brutally blunt, feelings are just an exploitable resource for those who have none. Do you think our politicians, our bureaucrats, our leaders give a flying fuck about how we feel? Not really. They want to inspire us to something so that we'll vote for them and give them power. They'll do everything short of raising hell (and lets face it, some have even crossed that line) to ensure we get that vibe that brings the numbers to the polls.

And now, look at modern times. We've been so hamstrung by our feelings that we've just stopped. Miserable, isn't it? We're caught in the hypocracy of trying to live our lives without feeling, while at the same time, being utterly enslaved by them. When we're hurt, we yell. When we're stolen from, we get mad. No thinking involved. Knee-jerk.

I'm often depressed. I have no reason to be, but for now I'll chalk it up to the fact that I have to be dictated to by people who are living their lives in a primitive autopilot. They don't think about things, but rather just feel their way through life. Honestly, if I wanted to be a blind fish, snapping at whatever bugs comes down the stream, I would've hit reset long ago.

I don't know

Well, this is my 666'th post. Don't know if anyone who reads this is superstitious, or more importantly, if anyone even reads this anymore.

I don't know if I'll be playing much WoW anymore. Of my handful of characters, all are dead - killed while minding my own business by level 70's who must've gotten bored with arenas and such.

As well, I've beaten Braid, GTA4, Mass Effect... and pretty much every other game in my possession.

So I think it's time for a hiatus from games, as there looks to be nothing good coming in the short term, and by the by, I think most of the people I play with or against online would be better served gouging their eyes out with pudding spoons.

But that's just me.

I would like to spend more time taking photos and printing them, but I've fast run out of material to photograph, and besides. It all seems so boring anyway.

All of it does. It just feels like my record's on repeat right now. My only saving grace is this: thank God nobody's listening.

Braid - Not just for hair

So, I sucked it up and spent $15 to download Braid, which is a much ballyhoo'd title for the Xbork 360.

Lately, I've been frustrated with most of the other titles available on the console. GTA IV, while awesome for the first two thirds, has succumbed to that which ruined its earlier predecessors - namely, missions that are beyond difficult, and the endless task of micromanaging your entourage of whiny bitches who constantly demand you take them out to places, pay for everything, and them drive them home afterwards.

Oh, also, they get pissy if you blow them off.

Anyway. Back to Braid. So. It's like Mario. In fact, you could call it a Mario spoof. Kind of. The whole thing is steeped in what seems to be a giant three-dimensional watercolour. There's apparently a back story which could be described as vague and melancholy, but ultimately adds flavour to the game, as it explains all the useful powers that you gain throughout the various levels.

Did I mention you can rewind time? It's insanely addicting just on the basis that it's so humble. It's not very intense, but you find yourself replaying a puzzle over and over so you can collect the coveted puzzle piece. Collect all the pieces and you put together a piece of art - which also unlocks... something. I don't know what, as I'm only about halfway through the game, but I figure it'll be something good. There's also humble tributes and spoofs to all manner of side-scrolling adventures throughout the game. There's even one that mocks the venerable Donkey Kong.

Anyway. For those of you with a 360, I recommend buying it. For fifteen dollars, you get a pretty good game. Part of the reason I bought it was because there's been a bunch of people complaining that $15 is too much for a Live Arcade title. If you ask me, it's just about right.

Now, if you'll excuse me, it appears I won't be showing my face in public for a week while I beat this.

Verde

A brief summation of my day off:

I'm sorry. I cannot do anything today. I am preoccupied with trying to find myself in space behind the ceiling.

Everything you want, you got: hook, smoke, crater

I've been having a running discussion with a friend of mine for the last few days. I'd like to think that it's rather meaningless, and very much given to our first-world culture, but to me it resounds as true, regardless of how privileged we are or where we live.

We've discussed a few times how frustrating other human beings can be, and just how much more simplistic life would be if we all just stopped caring, and took a come-what-may attitude. Life would indeed be simplistic. Nothing would be a problem, but as I imagine it, we would each be stones in the bottom of a stream then. Time and change would swirl around us and pass us by, and we would be... stones. Mute. Unchangeable. Uncaring. Boring.

Mind me, I'm one to talk. I'm bothered by things on a geological scale, but when it comes down to my personal life, I can't be bothered by a lot of things. I think many will agree that I'm a lot short of considerate. But when you view things from the big picture, we're little more than ants, which could just as easily be crushed and forgotten. It's important to remember that, because ultimately, that's what we'll be if we don't get a few things in order.

Humankind has accomplished great feats of both engineering and compassion in the past. It has also committed untold horrors and atrocities, from something as simple and overlooked as murder, to the broad and shameless extermination of entire ethnic groups. A lot of people claim that humanity will force itself to extinction, along with a good portion of the Earth's ecosystem. I'm not so bold. I don't think humanity will go extinct. Not for a long time. We're a wily race, gifted with a brain that's a confusing mix of half-vestigal instinct, and a fuzzy kernel of disused, misused, and abused logic.

I think we will survive, if only to spite the folly of the ones we choose to lead. Whereas we are inert and ambition-less like stones, our leaders tend to be hungry, greedy individuals who are forever reaching, forever politicking. It's an endless spiral of poison and power, and within its coil, anything is possible - including a completely possibly scouring of the Earth with nuclear weapons.

We will survive a nuclear winter. Our faith in the ability for others to lead will not.

And this brings me inexorably to the point I've been trying to make for weeks. We're moving away from each other. To some, this is a sad, sad thing. To most, it's nothing. Not even worth note. I'm just saying that one day, we won't even associate ourselves with each other, out of that bitter aftertaste that it was our neighbor's vote that bought us the bomb that dropped on our heads.

We'll just be people. And we'll be just like stones. We don't dare move together, because the momentum would be dangerous.

And in time, we'll forget about all the good things we did once, and we'll sometimes read about all the bad things.

And it will all be dull and gray until the day some guy or girl builds a monument, and on it will read a very simple line:

Today I was here, but tomorrow I won't be. I desire to see something better, so I've left this here as a reminder to myself and to others that may come. We were all once here today, but not tomorrow.

Fuzz

Some days, I don't even know why I try saying anything at all.
I was going to try writing something tonight when I got home from work. You know, stir the creative juices.

Well. The juices have gone sour, so to speak. I think I'm just going to let this place fester for a bit before coming back. I'm just too disgusted.