I haven't unpacked my camera gear yet, but I suppose I could just write for the hell of it. You know. Like I used to. I've been getting into tabletop gaming, if for no other reason than computer/console gaming seems to be losing its appeal at an alarming rate. One could say it's being leached away.
There's been a lot of games out lately that I just can't be bothered to care about. Call of Duty is a franchise that was beautifully resurrected in the original Modern Warfare. I still get chills from the mission in Chernobyl, creeping through the Zone of Alienation in a Ghillie suit. Unfortunately, no other game has ever lived up to the sheer amazingness of the MW. MW2 was like a half-assed attempt by the developers to mail it in, offering a half-baked campaign with twice the flair and half the gritty story of the original. Multiplayer was a complete wash, a trend that has continued to the present day in the latest iterations. There's no tactics, just run run run, shoot. Or maybe knife. Some of the shit with knives from MW2 was insane. I know because I pulled a lot of it. Flying up a ten foot flight of stairs, toes barely touching, shrugging off bullets as my knife - seemingly of its own accord - finds the most vital regions of my enemy, ending his virtual life in the blink of an eye.
I mean, really. To a fifteen year old mind, that's practically pure porn. But it doesn't interest me in the slightest anymore. There's no consequence, no teamwork, and no soul. I'd rather watch a bunch of rocks tumbling down a cliff.
But anyway, back to tabletop games. Or rather, one tabletop game in particular: Warhammer 40k. I've always been peripherally aware of it. My first experience with the actual tabletop game was almost five years after I'd played through Relic's rendition of the game universe in Dawn of War (with requisite expansions). For a lot of players, jumping into the tabletop is a matter of deep contemplation, as each faction offers a diversity of abilities, as well as options for building and painting models.
For me, it was instantaneous. No consideration required. I would command the Orks, and we would win.
Like all games, Warhammer 40k is rife with options and choices for those who want an easy victory. Typically the Space Marine factions (tangent: if you haven't already, play the demo for Space Marine. Fucking good game) have unique chapters that offer benefits that just wouldn't fly otherwise. I didn't want an easy faction though. I wanted to be that badass foe, that menace that makes generals sweat at night. I wanted to be the horde of mongols that come swooping down from the hills, burning and pillaging.
On the table, it's a sight to behold. Most people play factions that favor small, powerful squads of specialists. They often start the game in one corner of the board, systematically picking and guarding objectives like a team of SEAL operators. All of that goes out the window when they see my horde. I don't start in a corner. There's so many goddamned orks that I take a whole side of the board to myself. It's like Ghengis Khan and Erwin Rommel teamed up, and they're coming down to get you, so you better prepare your anus.
It's like playing chess, except your opponent only gets a queen and two bishops. And you get thousands of pawns. Actually, wait. No. It's not like chess at all. The kings in chess don't get transdimensional artillery.
The other reason that the tabletop game is so appealing is because of the strategy involved. It's a deep, turn-based strategy that makes the brain eat itself in consideration. Games like Starcraft are only two dimensional in their strategies. You build a bunch of units, and then cram them up your enemy's ass - hopefully in the correct formation that ensures he dies and you don't. There's tactics, but eventually it evolves into maximizing plays and forcing exploits in the game engine. There's no consideration for long-term goals, or deadlines before victory or defeat. There's no time to really worry if your actions were correct. The consequence of failure is a quick return to the lobby, and another 20-second wait before the next matchup.
Games like Warhammer 40k put you in the vice. A misstep could put your powerful shooters into the assault range of a bloodthirsty mob of assholes. A carefully tuned army, trained and perfected for hunting soft-skinned Orks, will suddenly and completely collapse in the face of heavy armor. It's like Sun-Tzu's fucking carnival, and I love it.
Another aspect of the tabletop is building and painting models. I'm absolute rubbish when it comes to painting, but the practice has had a peripheral benefit. I was promoted to a computer technician at work, and that means I spend a lot of time with very long screwdrivers, tiny screws, and very tight spaces. For my first few months, I was an absolute klutz, dropping screws and losing tiny bits all the time.
After about a month of painting, I can balance a tiny screw on the end of my screwdriver without much fuss. My hand tremors are more or less under control, and the quality of my work has improved twofold. All because of a dumb geek hobby.
But yeah. Anyway. Orkz.